so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
