you would pick up someone in the library
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
