Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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