she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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