Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize