U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Drunk is not a location!
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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