we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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