420 ftw
Who wears a wallet chain?!
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
