Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
