hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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