i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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