Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Just high enough for therapy.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
