There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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