Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
