The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
