ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
