oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
