when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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