margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
