That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize