I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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