Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I'm pants shitting drunk right now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): I'm pants shitting drunk right now http://tfl.nu/z85l
  Replies (4) Good night (883) Bad night (888)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much http://tfl.nu/7w3a
  Replies (3) Good night (509) Bad night (1283)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  Billy Mays is dead too!

  (1-352): View more from Florida

  Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): Billy Mays is dead too! (1-352): Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs http://tfl.nu/okmt
  Replies (11) Good night (2069) Bad night (655)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers? http://tfl.nu/o0vq
  Replies (16) Good night (897) Bad night (4734)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed. http://tfl.nu/knrb
  Replies (25) Good night (5741) Bad night (781)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too. http://tfl.nu/16uc
  Replies (23) Good night (7270) Bad night (1105)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (778): We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's. http://tfl.nu/nlsl
  Replies (12) Good night (2903) Bad night (1029)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world http://tfl.nu/o1nx
  Replies (2) Good night (947) Bad night (3115)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win? http://tfl.nu/uubh
  Replies (11) Good night (2269) Bad night (809)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish http://tfl.nu/kpto
  Replies (10) Good night (1023) Bad night (425)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back. http://tfl.nu/a3bg
  Replies (5) Good night (618) Bad night (295)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that. http://tfl.nu/dlkz
  Replies (1) Good night (511) Bad night (381)
• Favorite

  (956): View more from Texas

  I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (956): I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal. http://tfl.nu/q1bu
  Replies (3) Good night (890) Bad night (294)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations. http://tfl.nu/6ra3
  Replies (7) Good night (350) Bad night (508)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now.... http://tfl.nu/8e5z
  Replies (4) Good night (703) Bad night (306)

Randomize