Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(252): View more from North Carolina

I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.

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(703): View more from Virginia

As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".

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(416): View more from Toronto

I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.

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19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(530): View more from California

On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?

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(921): View more from

Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!

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(+61): View more from Australia

He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.

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