Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(336): View more from North Carolina

haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?

(919): View more from North Carolina

i cant lie to you.

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(336): haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal? (919): i cant lie to you. http://tfl.nu/vpro

Replies (56) Good night (868) Bad night (3024)
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(631): View more from New York

I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick

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(631): I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick http://tfl.nu/3foz

Replies (25) Good night (792) Bad night (4147)
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(631): View more from New York

I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.

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(631): I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens. http://tfl.nu/64xb

Replies (43) Good night (4394) Bad night (811)
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(561): View more from Florida

We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.

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(561): We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night. http://tfl.nu/gp7p

Replies (27) Good night (4032) Bad night (1102)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better

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(215): We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better http://tfl.nu/6zww

Replies (9) Good night (4178) Bad night (821)
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(330): View more from Ohio

so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister

(216): View more from Ohio

i hate you

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(330): so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister (216): i hate you http://tfl.nu/9cj0

Replies (43) Good night (22930) Bad night (1850)
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(785): View more from Kansas

In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?

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(785): In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out? http://tfl.nu/d8g6

Replies (6) Good night (1312) Bad night (3498)
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(641): View more from Iowa

Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?

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(641): Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug? http://tfl.nu/o9ys

Replies (16) Good night (977) Bad night (3348)
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(206): View more from Washington

My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.

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(206): My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in. http://tfl.nu/9rsk

Replies (14) Good night (3134) Bad night (854)
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(785): View more from Kansas

I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag

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(785): I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag http://tfl.nu/283w

Replies (7) Good night (2685) Bad night (799)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?

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(318): would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase? http://tfl.nu/h5qz

Replies (6) Good night (1495) Bad night (1038)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters

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(401): Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters http://tfl.nu/a1rx

Replies (2) Good night (559) Bad night (1072)
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(971): View more from Oregon

I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.

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(971): I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney. http://tfl.nu/myp2

Replies (22) Good night (2150) Bad night (764)
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(+61): View more from Australia

BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON

(+61): View more from Australia

SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE

(+61): View more from Australia

THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.

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(+61): BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON (+61): SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE (+61): THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL. http://tfl.nu/d007

Replies (9) Good night (1493) Bad night (526)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.

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(832): Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober. http://tfl.nu/wntc

Replies (7) Good night (1046) Bad night (304)

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