Texts From Last Night

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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?

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  (740): Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong? http://tfl.nu/7sw3
  Replies (13) Good night (3873) Bad night (788)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.

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  (440): oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet. http://tfl.nu/d9ji
  Replies (18) Good night (6059) Bad night (581)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  I thought Christmas was going to come before I did

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  (219): I thought Christmas was going to come before I did http://tfl.nu/cili
  Replies (10) Good night (1057) Bad night (6996)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  at least I said it was good

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  (314): great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter (1-314): at least I said it was good http://tfl.nu/h772
  Replies (25) Good night (5553) Bad night (1370)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.

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  (813): y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all. http://tfl.nu/2iln
  Replies (125) Good night (15164) Bad night (1340)
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  (650): View more from California

  If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance

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  (650): If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance http://tfl.nu/4709
  Replies (6) Good night (1217) Bad night (3798)
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  (310): View more from California

  he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed

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  (310): he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed http://tfl.nu/t2n3
  Replies (15) Good night (2860) Bad night (1594)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.

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  (732): I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink. http://tfl.nu/afd8
  Replies (4) Good night (2687) Bad night (841)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.

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  (636): I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college. http://tfl.nu/p6pv
  Replies (5) Good night (1689) Bad night (810)
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  (310): View more from California

  She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.

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  (310): She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning. http://tfl.nu/tu4n
  Replies (4) Good night (773) Bad night (1442)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"

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  (781): I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions" http://tfl.nu/b7d2
  Replies (7) Good night (2421) Bad night (594)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.

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  (850): Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer. http://tfl.nu/iky6
  Replies (23) Good night (2772) Bad night (732)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  You left wolverine marks

  (1-910): View more from North Carolina

  I'm somewhere between sorry and proud

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  (910): You left wolverine marks (1-910): I'm somewhere between sorry and proud http://tfl.nu/d8w1
  Replies (2) Good night (1479) Bad night (383)
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.

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  (289): In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking. http://tfl.nu/ntm3
  Replies (13) Good night (375) Bad night (803)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.

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  (781): oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games. http://tfl.nu/o181
  Replies (0) Good night (426) Bad night (338)

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