I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move