I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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