I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
