dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I still have a little drunk in my system
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
