ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
