mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize