everyone is single if you try hard enough
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
