Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
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Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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