Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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