do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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