if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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