It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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