maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
