we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
