I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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