i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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