so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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