New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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