i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
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