He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
