I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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