Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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