Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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