8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize