you didnt know i had herpes?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
