Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
