Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
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