Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
