This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Randomize
