Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
