The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
