The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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