I must be too annoying 4 u.
Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You've changed since you got that strap on
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
