dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
