im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
