I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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