I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Your penis caused this!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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