Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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