RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
