lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
