I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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