I like my sex mixed with concussions.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
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Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
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Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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