Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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