Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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